Just my rambling thoughts about being gay and Mormon

Sunday, December 5, 2010


I was thinking the other day about the really deep and meaningful relationships that I have with other guys and I realized how few they really are.  I suppose it's normal to expect that most of our relationships are fairly shallow with people at work and church.  Even within my family, I don't feel I really have a very deep relationship with the men, with the exception of my son and my brother-in-law, who coincidentally is gay.   I have a twin brother and we are not particularly close, although we do enjoy being together on the rare occasions that we see each other (we live on opposite ends of the country).  We don't seem to be able to connect about anything but superficial stuff by phone or email. 

I've always felt closer to the women in my life, my wife, daughters, and a wonderful mother-in-law, than I have with the men in the family.   The men seem so intent on one-upping each other in every conversation and they focus on things I really don't give a damn about like cars and sports.   I wonder if the men in my life are as out of touch with themselves as they are out of touch with me.

I'm sure this is as much my fault as it is theirs.  I know that I often don't say things that I'm thinking or feeling to my male acquaintances because I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable.  Few men are willing to break the imaginary surface to talk about how they feel and why.  Sad.  I should do more to speak out.

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