I will comment on a growing trend that I see within the Mormon gay community. More gay members say they plan to stay active in the church even if it means only being able to partially participate. Also, I'm seeing more situations where local leaders tell gay members to come back or continue going to church in order to drive change from within the church. This type of comment from church leaders strikes me as very selfish and does not demonstrate that their first concern is the well being of gay members. These same leaders often state that it's not a members place to council the church authorities.Perhaps I'm further down the road, or just have more experience with the LDS leadership, but this path is not for me. I'm much healthier outside the church and I believe most gay members will ultimately arrive at the same conclusion. The cognitive dissonance of actively supporting an organization that wishes you did not exist and that fights against your civil rights is extremely unhealthy.
There is a recent proliferation of gay LDS groups that intend on helping their members stay in the church and they say they see changes occurring in the church that are gay friendly. The truth is that nothing has really changed in the actions or doctrine of the church leaders. The only improvements that have occurred are superficial and very locally focused. While these actions may make the lives of some gay members better within their local wards they don't change any basic church beliefs or actions that are very harmful to gay members.
Church leaders have changed important doctrine and policies on other big issues in the past and they could do it rapidly now if they wanted to do it with respect to gay members. The fact that they don't and that the 1st Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve don't make any comments about it is evidence to me that they are not interested in change. Besides, the church is not a democracy and local leaders can play nice with gay members all they want but it will be essentially inconsequential until general policy changes occur.
The church will in fact change, I'm very sure of it. I probably won't live to see it. Everyone's path is different. If yours is to stay within the church, I wish you well.